Trust or Vulnerability?

The concept of trust is an interesting one.  To have trust in your value set, whether in your personal or professional relationships, would suggest an undercurrent of mistrust – I must have trust in my relationships (because I am fearful of trust being broken).  If any relationship is to work, trust should be a given.

Sometimes, lack of trust in another is valid.  In this instance, trust may well have been broken, perhaps by an unfaithful partner, a careless friend or incompetency at work.  In these circumstances, a conversation needs to be had between the two parties.  Perhaps even coaching or counseling needs to be implemented to resolve the issues in the relationship, along with a probationary period where trust is still a given unless it is broken.

There are, however, times where the issue of trust is more about our own issues than the relationship we’re making it about.  We may feel that unless we maintain control over others, we risk our own vulnerabilities of not being good enough exposed.  In this instance, the issue is not trust at all, rather a pattern of insecurities within ourselves where trust is the external mask we use to hide behind.

Where trust is an issue, it often helps to look closer to home.  Do you have issues with trust?  Has trust actually been broken or are the current relationships paying for mis-trust in the past?  And finally, ask yourself; is this really about trust at all or am making it about trust when it’s really about vulnerability?

Jacqui Lane

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