Decoding Conflict

Why people engage in conflict, stay in conflict and come to define themselves by conflict.


Solutions are scary, that’s why we keep the problem.

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Most of the conflict that holds us back is unnecessary. Designed to protect us from our deepest fears, we use rebellion as a way of avoiding responsibility for stepping up. We like to stay safe and comfortable and that means we resist change even when our current situation brings unhappiness.

There is a curious phenomena in human nature that we will do more to avoid pain than we will do gain pleasure. Embracing challenge and change takes us out of our comfort zone and into a place where we often feel exposed and ill-equipped to deal with the uncertainty of an unknown future. Whether in our own teams or in the lives of those we work with, this course offers a very unique insight in to how and why we create and perpetuate conflict, offering transformational solutions.

This training takes a lively and highly insightful look at why people engage in conflict, stay in conflict and come to define themselves by conflict. Solutions are scary and so we keep the problem. Digging deep for the hidden motives of why people prefer problems to solutions means that graduates of this 1-day programme will have all they need to decipher and defuse conflict in their more challenging relationships.

What this course will give you:

• A unique perspective on how and why conflict is created

• Why conflict is often difficult to resolve

• How some personalities simply clash and what to do about it

• Why some people are amazingly far apart in how they think

• How conflict can become addictive

• What part fear has to play in conflict

• What does win/win really mean and how do we achieve it

• Learn the language of effective negotiation

• Transform the way you engage in your relationships

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Drivers & Dividers 










Investment: 1-day training, £95

Revealing the unconscious depths of why conflict becomes a way of life for some

This 1-day training will peel back the onion layers of what drives and divides people and how and why conflict can become a way of life. This course goes far deeper than the obvious reasons. By the end of the first two days, graduates will no longer see conflict as bad or wrong, but rather as a torchlight to use what they have learned as an insight to move beyond the mask of borrowed identity and into the heart of the human being in front of them.

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them every once in awhile, or the light won’t come inAlan Alda
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Investment: 1-day training, £95

Why drama becomes addictive and how to rise above it towards our potential

This 1-day training digs deep into the conditioning of why drama is so potent and why we hold on to it. In examining the phenomena as to why some people are more comfortable connecting through problem rather than people, we transcend the more traditional rules of conflict resolution and pull it from the root upwards. By the end of our second two days together, conflict will no longer be seen as challenging, but rather as a challenge to use the learnings to draw potential from beyond the barriers and into the realms of possibilities.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting themPhillis Bottome
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Each programme comes with its own manual, containing all the tools, templates and teachings. As a graduate of this programme, you will also have access to our online Members Forum, a unique community for all front-line professionals to share, serve and support each other.

For booking enquiries, please contact us at